The other day while sitting under the tree in my neigbors yard, (as I do most days) waiting on the arrival of the bus, I noticed a butterfly on the ground. There was obviously a problem b/c butterlfies do not reside on the ground.
I walked over and picked it up. The poor thing was struggling to survive. My initial though was how sad, it was so beautiful. I have a special attachment to butterflies, b/c after my cousin Natalie died (she was more like a sister) butterflies started presenting themselves constantly. Even in the winter time I would see one periodically. They would land on me and just kind of hang out. Show up in times of grief and sorrow. I suppose the timing of this little guy wasn’t any different. I have some turmoil in my life as you may know if you follow my blog or know me in real life. Anyhow, I picked the butterfly up and inspected it closely. About that time the kids were getting off the bus, and were so very excited to see me holding a butterfly. They of course wanted to hold it, even though I discouraged them, and explained it was likely dying. It was then I noticed one of it’s wings was torn. I was fairly certain this was a death sentance for this beautiful fragile creature. I have a massive butterfly bush in my front yard, so I took it and put it on the most sturdy beautiful bloom I could find. I figured it nothing else it could die in a place of beauty, and have one more meal. In truth I was hoping the bush would breath new life into it, it’s wing would be healed and I’d never see it again. Sadly the butterly now lay in tatttered pieces below the bush.
Why would I share this story of a dead buterfly you may be wondering to yourself? Well this morning I awoke to an email from the mom who’s baby died, that I photographed last, before going on break from www.NowILayMeDownToSleep.org. Her email was in response to the one I sent her, after receiving her letter. It gave me an extra boost this morning. I went for my morning run and spent the entire time praying and talking to God. I asked for signs, assistance, strength, courage, grace, understaning, you name it, everythig except patience (b/c I know better than to ask for that). While I know that a lot of the things I won’t get immediately, or will be too blind to see, some of them were seen on the trails b/c my mind and eyes were open. My goal for this week was to be up to 3 miles, but b/c I haven’t been feeling well, it didn’t happen. Today I hit about 1.65-1.75 ish. I tend to average more like 2.67 or so. The funny thing is though, despite my distance, or time, today’s run was one of the best I’ve had. I was so in tune with natue, and God, and everything around me, that I wasn’t dissapointed when I left out that last lap. What I realized was while it’s good to push yourself, you may not always make it. Sometimes, in life you need help. When I got home I remembered the girls telling me the butterfly was laying in pieces under the bush. I walked out and looked at the beautiful creature that once was. This butterfly came as a subtle reminder that sometimes in life all we can do is show another love, or give them a chance, but inevitably nature will take it’s course. In wake of the insanity with these school shootings, and incidents, all I can say is clearly we are needing to show each other more love. The terrorization of children is about as horrific as it gets. I want the problem sovled not just for my children’s school but all the area schools. I’ll fundraise through my business or do whatever I can to help raise moneys to put cameras and locks on those doors, if need be. Ultimately though, we need to at least try to love one another, our neighbors, stangers, friends. You never now who is tattered, or broken, who may have a torn wing. So today I encourage you to take a deep breath, and slow your pace down a few steps. Take a second to compliment a total stranger, or chat with the barista in your coffee shop, show someone the warmth of your smile. Just a minute of caring goes a long way. If we can all give it a shot, and it’s contagious, our world will surely be a better place.
Yet again, my blog has nothing to do with photography, portraits, events, weddings, or head shots. I guess at the moment that’s not really what it’s all about. Go figure.
Still beautiful, even in death. Who will pick up the pieces?
